Well this is weird.
I have the whole day solo, with no close friend or relative within 1000kms. For at least the next four days. Zee is Crete, and until I meet her in ten days, here I am. For sanity sake I’ll probably go to Sydney in there somewhere, but all the other time? It’s only mine. The rest of the world laments with me.
“You poor muffin! No responsibilities, no work, not even a partner that needs attention! How ever will you survive??”
Yeah all right, all true.
My elderly mum, when in the nursing home with limited mobility, used to complain about how the time dragged for her. I have mobility, and a long list of things to get done, but my issue is whether I should really just spend the time being, rather than doing. Also, whether the challenge is actually to look within more, and right brain more, rather than treating this time as an ideal “to do” list opportunity.
But it’s hard, and radically different from my life from the last few years (possibly decades). I tried some fictional writing yesterday, which showed promise, but I couldn’t last more than a half hour. Today, I’m getting through some things that do need doing, But I’m very aware of their avoidance value too.
Oddly Pickleball helped yesterday. I was feeling way under slept, and was indeed performed well wonky (technical term) for the first hour. There was little focus and concentration, with easy shots going nowhere. But after a while I kept coaching myself upwards, and there was a marked improvement by the end.
I’m also watching myself more. I occasionally simply fade. Not all days, and I’m trying to see patterns. Food is in there (no chocolate or milk), and of course sleep. But I another decision then: try to ignore and push through (like Pickleball) or take a quick nap, or just watch TV for an hour. It’s not obvious which I should do, but all too often streaming is winning lately.