I am, at least nominally, a software developer. Or more accurately, I do software development to support family and lifestyle. It is often fun and challenging, however it may be telling that I almost never do it outside work. My CV says that I specialise in C++. After almost 50 years, it’s not the most popular or trendy language, but it’s still number 3 or 4. There are jobs out there (even in little Sydney), recruiters chasing me, so that’s good, yes?

Well, it would be if I wasn’t a bit of a fraud, even beyond everyone’s usual impostor syndrome. You see the recently deceased job was R&D, where breadth is important. You try lots of ways to find solutions, and dip toes in lots of alternative technologies. As a result, over the last few years I’ve specialised in obscure places, in particular the under-appreciated skill of GPU programming. This has come at the cost of the bread-and-butter, in-demand skills of modern C++ experience.

So there’s the problem in a nutshell. I have A CV stating that I’m a 20 year veteran of C++, which while not lying, is not the whole story either. I’m way behind the curve, and suspect a tech interview would be an unpleasantly enlightening experience.

Another few potential issues. First I’m 57. I don’t look it, I don’t behave like it, but I also don’t look like 35, and I’ve no idea if that’s an issue to employers. If it is, then that’s a really daunting prospect. Secondly, I look stoned ALL THE TIME. Not because I am, but because of a stupid medical issue with the eyes (and yes I’ve tried *everything* over 40 years). Beyond some awkward social interactions, it hasn’t affected me professionally, but it does make for some difficult first impressions. Scary at interview time.

What else. I don’t do fast thinking on my feet (not so good for interviews, again), or extensive memory recall under pressure. I’m happier mulling issues over time. Again not good for dynamic interviews.

In short, lots of stuff to keep me awake at night, and it has. But annoyingly, I have to grow up and face all those realities and fears, which involves making….a Plan.